tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61399403405924134702024-03-04T20:47:58.189-08:00Head TripI shouldn't SpeakMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-59405104481749500892012-05-21T16:07:00.001-07:002012-05-21T16:08:52.452-07:00Can't even do me the courtesyI've loved and lost and loved again <br />
And I knew you <br />
I knew you very well<br />
You were my best friend.<br />
<br />
But now that it's over and done <br />
What happened to those days<br />
Where you called me the one?<br />
<br />
And all I asked from you was to let me go<br />
Tell me you no longer love<br />
And to use your words in full <br />
<br />
The love is gone <br />
And I need to hear it<br />
Don't tell me it's still there when you no longer feel it<br />
Use your words and tell me what I don't want to hear<br />
I asked you to do so<br />
But for some reason you retain fear<br />
<br />
Now do me the honor of speaking your truth<br />
Tell me you no longer love me and that our past is in our youth <br />
Do me one last courtesy and tell me no more lies<br />
Our love is gone and has long since diedMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-33391978961463637922012-04-01T21:39:00.004-07:002012-04-04T05:54:13.924-07:00You're like everyone elseDon't you realize what you've done?<br />
I'm broken down because of you<br />
emotionless<br />
careless<br />
I don't care what I do<br />
<br />
I hate you sometimes<br />
because you were my best friend<br />
and i told you<br />
and sadly i knew<br />
i never was for you<br />
<br />
but your lies, i knew they were lies<br />
but you promised me, made me believe so much in you<br />
I've invested all that I had left<br />
and you promised you'd never make me sad<br />
but look at me now?<br />
and where are you? Happily alone because it doesn't effect you<br />
well I always knew you'd do this to me!<br />
and I hate you! and I hate me.<br />
I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to love you anymore<br />
<br />
I keep going back to the day we met<br />
and everything inbetween <br />
the day I should of never gone out<br />
Do you remember all those things you told me? those lies?<br />
do you even know what you said?<br />
<br />
you said you loved me, never leave, you made me stay<br />
gave me an ultimatum because all i wanted to do was stray<br />
but instead I CHOSE LOVE<br />
because your lies were so convincing<br />
<br />
Were you even listening? When I told you I was scared? That I didn't want to be in love if it meant being hurt again? That I knew the distance would effect us? That your affection would leave once my guard was down?<br />
<br />
BUT YOU PROMISED<br />
you promised a lot<br />
and you let me down<br />
you broke my heart<br />
and i always knew that you'd be like the rest<br />
and I hate you<br />
I HATE YOU SO MUCH<br />
because I love you way too much<br />
<br />
Do you cry every night like I do?<br />
Do you hold your pillows tight wishing it was me?<br />
Do you want to sleep forever just so you can forget my memory?<br />
it's not fair<br />
<br />
<br />
You are like everyone else<br />
Promise me one thing and then do another<br />
I told you you'd hurt me <br />
and now all i do scream. hating myself for even letting you touch me. Letting you kiss me and brain wash me<br />
From your past I should of known<br />
I'm not the only heart you've broken<br />
I'm not the only you've hurt<br />
You're a liar! a quitter!<br />
You don't even know what you want<br />
and you dragged me with you<br />
<br />
I should of let you go that day... when i told you this would happen.<br />
God, I wish I could go back to that<br />
I wish I could of broken your heart... left you to sleep alone that day<br />
<br />
And today you said you'd call<br />
god knows what you're doing<br />
but I've yearned for your voice for the last time<br />
You've lost me<br />
I want to and will be out of love with you<br />
I want nothing to do with you<br />
<br />
How could you hurt me like this?<br />
Why would you do that? I am in so much pain, and you are just fine aren't you?<br />
Well I hope you never feel like I do<br />
I hope you never need anyone like I need you<br />
<br />
Now I will never believe anything anyone says<br />
I will never ever love again<br />
I wont be that fool that I've always been<br />
I will go back to my old ways<br />
just as when you met me<br />
except this time<br />
i wont let any man trick me<br />
<br />
I hope you feel guilty, if anything at all<br />
I wish you'd admit that our love is gone<br />
correction, your love<br />
Just tell me you don't love me anymore, like you should've done a while ago<br />
<br />
to me you are a liar and betrayer. Someone i can no longer trust or be friends with.<br />
I want to forget you<br />
for the rest of my life<br />
you hurt me more than all my ex's combined<br />
was that your intention? because you knew about my past. or are you just blind?<br />
<br />
I cry every night! I'm tortured ever day. Sometimes I collapse with the heaviness of my heart, literally collapse. is this what you wanted for me? Are you trying to teach me a lesson? Do you think I deserve this?<br />
Why would you hurt me so bad?<br />
When you knew it'd throw me over the edge.<br />
<br />
I lose my breath. I've lost my light. I was fine before you! I was healing <br />
WHY DID I EVER GO OUT THAT NIGHT?<br />
WHY DID I EVER MEET YOU?<br />
I don't deserve this and I don't want to need you<br />
<br />
and i know you've already moved on <br />
because you don't need to hear my voice<br />
you're not even sad or upset<br />
you're happy<br />
you don't even think about me<br />
Do you care that I am still awake because you said you'd call<br />
I know it's late but I am hoping this is not another one of your lies<br />
but it is<br />
a false promise<br />
that maybe one day we'd get back together<br />
but no<br />
because you gave up<br />
you're a quitter<br />
you lied to me<br />
<br />
and at least I'm not messaging your friends<br />
asking where you are, creepily trying to find out what you are doing<br />
because i already know<br />
I know everything<br />
just like I knew how this would turn out <br />
<br />
Stop telling me things I want to hear and for once just tell me the truth<br />
Tell me you never loved me<br />
you don't even know what love is.<br />
Tell me to forget you<br />
because god knows I want to .<br />
I wish I never met you<br />
Never brought you back to my room.<br />
I HATE MYSELF<br />
and i hate you<br />
because I picked another like all the rest<br />
someone who'd end up hurting me <br />
a boy just like everyone else <br />
<br />
I sure do know how to pick them don't I?<br />
Thanks for breaking my heart <br />
Thanks for being like all the rest but hurting me so much more<br />
you've lost me<br />
and it will never be the sameMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-3781729074068663652012-02-09T18:10:00.001-08:002012-04-01T21:43:23.641-07:00Do you even love me anymore?For what it's worth<br />
I already know<br />
I've been knowing<br />
that spark, the tiny glimmer of light<br />
well, its faded<br />
not mine<br />
just yours<br />
I know that you've been jaded<br />
but your own brain<br />
forcing to continuing<br />
when you its wrong<br />
So then,<br />
Why won't you just let me know<br />
your letting it linger<br />
putting on a show<br />
an act.<br />
of a false love between you and me<br />
because you no longer love<br />
you no longer love meMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-65804475170039655492011-12-02T22:15:00.000-08:002011-12-02T22:16:44.411-08:00They come and go (Playing with Fire)A shadow of my everyday<br />
i think of time with looks and stares<br />
Until the clock stuck done<br />
i walk upon clouds so proud and shout<br />
I am bound but un-tied in my ways<br />
do i deserve even a gaze?<br />
but i dare lay my eyes on attraction<br />
i am the female lion<br />
ready to pounce and attack them<br />
<br />
Oh but everyday now must go by<br />
where i can never lay upon my eyes<br />
the mystery of a missed history<br />
a unknown prediction of running and wishing<br />
My vanity cannot control the sanity<br />
it's over, now in the past<br />
<br />
<br />
Moment<br />
<br />
The match has lit<br />
and in due time<br />
imagination will run wild<br />
<br />
You are the object in view<br />
dressed in black, you look back<br />
with no words<br />
and stole bits of my heart<br />
each and every timeMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-12939516510817742502011-12-02T02:10:00.000-08:002011-12-02T02:10:57.373-08:00Think first, Then SpeakWhen i mouth words i did not mean to mention<br />
or stumble on ever line<br />
do not judge my every character.<br />
Yet the depth within those words<br />
and their value<br />
can cause seas to stir<br />
resinate amongst the "Ought to Matters"<br />
<br />
<br />
I feel like a rapper or actor who told everyone via twitter that they are leaving the business... When i announced my departure from Facebook only to return two and half weeks later.Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-51266147398725880422011-11-21T21:03:00.000-08:002011-11-21T21:03:12.010-08:00Sometimes I can't tellSometimes I can't tell<br />
sometimes I don't know<br />
how you really feel<br />
when you're all alone<br />
are your words so true<br />
that everything you say and do<br />
belongs to me <br />
or belongs to you<br />
<br />
Sometimes I can't tell<br />
sometimes I don't know<br />
where innocence went<br />
where new became norm<br />
where passion is gone<br />
I think too much but am not wrong<br />
have you changed sir?<br />
don't drag me along.<br />
<br />
The past, present and premature<br />
show me strongly that you have the ability to care<br />
display your affection<br />
or my detection<br />
of a love gone awry <br />
will break a heart with the inability of repair<br />
<br />
I can't feel it from you anymore<br />
<br />
Sometimes I can't tell<br />
sometimes I don't know<br />
how you really feel<br />
when you're all alone<br />
are your words so true<br />
that everything you say and do<br />
belongs to me <br />
or belongs to you<br />
<br />
Sometimes I can't tell<br />
sometimes I don't know<br />
where innocence went<br />
where new became norm<br />
where passion is gone<br />
I think too much but am not wrong<br />
have you changed sir?<br />
don't drag me along.Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-20619182501385488932011-11-18T23:05:00.000-08:002011-11-18T23:05:16.114-08:00i no longer enjoy the company of just any manI no longer enjoy the company of just any man<br />
if a man<br />
no man indeed<br />
they are not men<br />
but boys to men they have yet to succeed<br />
but i once pleasured myself with boys to be<br />
growing up with them as they came to be<br />
as i grew too<br />
into a lady<br />
respecting thyself and smiling with ease<br />
<br />
I no longer enjoy the company of just any man<br />
there's man<br />
a man indeed<br />
man amongst men<br />
someone who has long been with success<br />
one, only one, whom i want to obsess<br />
growing old with him, a dream yet to be<br />
with love for me... too<br />
i am his baby<br />
<br />
an he's my man. with none to compare, nor would i want to. id never dare. he's a gem and with that... very rare. I love him with all. He's the only man that i'd give my time to... even my spare.<br />
<br />
<br />
dedicated to roy grenier: <br />
took me a long time to realize i don't want anyone else but you. I don't even enjoy hanging around other boys unless you are there.. you're my best friend and i love you very muchMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-75681461979240162382011-10-16T00:04:00.000-07:002011-10-16T00:04:50.435-07:00#reallife means workOn upon research of my life<br />
wow<br />
progress!<br />
real progress<br />
A realization of ones self...<br />
talents..<br />
and driving force, for all things<br />
worth fighting for<br />
<br />
minus the 24/7 work shifts<br />
<br />
#reallife means work<br />
<br />
hashtag this on twitter and tweet me @karlamera<br />
http://twitter.com/#!/karlameraMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-81042400038087612382011-10-07T20:11:00.000-07:002011-10-07T20:11:18.939-07:00Stop making fun of methe first yawn of the night<br />
... and I'm getting tired<br />
<br />
I'm told i have a good work ethic<br />
work like a dog,<br />
like a mexican<br />
worker bee. then how can i still feel so lazy?<br />
People think I'm crazy<br />
<br />
Is it true that I am more hard working?<br />
more driven?<br />
more destined to succeed.<br />
because of the type of life i lead<br />
<br />
the one that was nourished, refined by my parents<br />
bounded by struggle and cemented by failure<br />
I'm nothing more than the worlds worst prayer<br />
but nothing is more than most people can spare<br />
it's true my breed, our breed is rare<br />
I'll work til I'm dead, that's all that i know<br />
<br />
I'm told i have a good work ethic<br />
work like a dog,<br />
like a mexican<br />
worker bee. then how can i still feel so lazy?<br />
God, am I crazy?Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-67713495412975767752011-10-06T06:45:00.000-07:002011-10-06T06:45:26.974-07:00How could I?So willingly i close my eyes<br />
to pretend i don't see who i lye<br />
and only imagine portraits of you<br />
portraits i only wish were true<br />
but none the less i kid myself<br />
closing tightly as he kissed myself<br />
I say no but there's no stopping<br />
hearts a thumping, bumping and dropping<br />
Inevitable is the word<br />
i a lonely girl <br />
in a cold cold world<br />
Never thought i'd do this to you<br />
but i have<br />
and now i must choseMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-3080411720315419512011-10-01T21:23:00.000-07:002011-10-01T21:23:36.507-07:00I'm loosing himWe are slipping<br />
we are falling<br />
we are falling apart.<br />
<br />
I can feel it letting go<br />
i feel you letting go<br />
<br />
and you may not know...<br />
you just don't know yet,<br />
but you're loosing your grip on me.<br />
Loosing those feelings, you see...<br />
<br />
I know you're forcing to continue<br />
and i, fighting for control<br />
<br />
This is all just bad timing,<br />
this I know you know.<br />
The distance. the trying.<br />
the missed calls and lieing<br />
<br />
forget me not<br />
I love you more<br />
but i've seen this, I've seen this... happen before<br />
I can clearly see<br />
that you're ready to run out that door.Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-17237404832735052272011-09-26T18:55:00.000-07:002011-10-01T21:14:04.794-07:00I work. A LOT. and that's all I doafter graduating many say I should feel lucky<br />
I should be happy to have found a job<br />
when so many others have just turn into slobs<br />
I have a job<br />
that pays pretty well<br />
a job where all I have to do is sell<br />
<br />
I am the manager<br />
of myself.<br />
competing with noone<br />
but everyone, including myself<br />
<br />
I make good money<br />
and everybody loves me<br />
I'm paying my bills and i don't go hungry<br />
<br />
But I'm living at home with my parents <br />
telling me I am lucky I am not paying rent<br />
<br />
to tell you the truth Id rather be poor<br />
Id rather be in school<br />
doing nothing at all<br />
all i do is work<br />
6 out of 7 days of the week<br />
if I'm lucky<br />
enjoying your years sheltered from the world?<br />
you'll miss it once it's gone<br />
TRUST ME!Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-25178548773063434512011-05-31T13:09:00.000-07:002011-05-31T13:09:22.168-07:00After 4 years what have I learned? - College graduate and the unknown futureTid bit on sex:<br />
If the sex feels right then it is right. for women it's meaningful, insightful and/ or satisfying physically and emotionally. the physical can do without the emotion but the emotional always works hand in hand with the physical<br />
For the man, it feels right, if it's tight. The Physical will always be there but if ever the emotional, well that is rare. Don't worry ladies...<br />
the moral: Kegel exercises <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Excerpt from a college grad<br />
<br />
I've graduated to become<br />
a lesser version of myself<br />
amongst many, amongst one<br />
Where do I go from here on out<br />
graduating with a diploma i want nothing to do with<br />
So as i humor myself<br />
I will follow my dreams<br />
realizing that's the only things I want for me<br />
and so it seems<br />
that Life is a test for all of us<br />
levels and levels of challenges<br />
we can accept defeat or we must<br />
follow and chase <br />
and never give up<br />
because along the way so many will face<br />
the death of their dreams because they are rational<br />
dying inside to be something practical<br />
Well, not meMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-57025477442822361072011-05-24T23:34:00.000-07:002011-05-24T23:55:18.420-07:00This is MeI am changing my this blog to updates on my life in a poetic manner but you can find my poetry at the creative unknowns blog HERE<br />
aka being a college grad, going through regular life, finding work, dealing with love, creating my success and informing you on a personal journey of life and achievement with a few obstacles and down falls on the way<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5LQG9AwM7VZ_0iG0M7BiBgSvoZZvQVkq4Cm60wkvlAsNDoqfK6BRAK9V6fzU-_sw7eoOVNhf1-udzivZf7iEGi38Ae-VZ2-L7Gif0aahUWUOym-J6zpWIR5tXWli-RkwFsLdp_e8b-FlX/s1600/prof5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5LQG9AwM7VZ_0iG0M7BiBgSvoZZvQVkq4Cm60wkvlAsNDoqfK6BRAK9V6fzU-_sw7eoOVNhf1-udzivZf7iEGi38Ae-VZ2-L7Gif0aahUWUOym-J6zpWIR5tXWli-RkwFsLdp_e8b-FlX/s400/karla mera" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Karla Mera - Self Portrait</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I never properly introduced myself. I am Karla Mera.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Once a photographer... now on a path to becoming an artist. I just want to be paid for being me and/or doing what I love<br />
<br />
What that is I am not sure yet but I want to find<br />
<br />
Currently 21 years of age, female, Leo, and a twin<br />
animal lover and I enjoy helping people<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uZ_3rl72P5XcO3o6RYwt0soXy9ogPvgxXkNk8ZX5xI7qpzk89RgIv_3x-PzNhLiK3k4JOcYfQhBoc3zaRyOT98blGHecv73zUKtLgHAP06v0BQz6DcVaM8xgEQKODmMO5Nj9v1RYVZmQ/s1600/profile1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1uZ_3rl72P5XcO3o6RYwt0soXy9ogPvgxXkNk8ZX5xI7qpzk89RgIv_3x-PzNhLiK3k4JOcYfQhBoc3zaRyOT98blGHecv73zUKtLgHAP06v0BQz6DcVaM8xgEQKODmMO5Nj9v1RYVZmQ/s400/karla mera" width="400" /></a></div><br />
<br />
I've do many things:<br />
<br />
1) Love writing lyrics and poetry<br />
2) Enjoy photography so long as it's not a job<br />
3) Event planning & promotions (music shows)<br />
4) Host for a college TV show<br />
5) Love watching children and teaching them<br />
6) singing, drawing, dancing, creating music<br />
7) relaxing, sun bathing, deep breaths and long conversation in person and in depth<br />
8) Volunteering. People and animals. It's life changing<br />
9) Being fashionable in a cost efficient way<br />
10) Being with Family and friends but also meeting new people, love to meet new people all the time<br />
11) Anything outdoors<br />
12) Social Media Marketing <br />
<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYN-DqSJxn-GkSrM2vZsd4_S5e4QVJl9qtj2nf_zWE3pC7o3x7zGu6xvPscqL-UJZ7aon06O7rL2qS4sdo7sh84afXhgzkmpXjKMyeAAWwhNznispAClOEoedDKqVez64n8LVq4yx7nTg/s1600/progile2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnYN-DqSJxn-GkSrM2vZsd4_S5e4QVJl9qtj2nf_zWE3pC7o3x7zGu6xvPscqL-UJZ7aon06O7rL2qS4sdo7sh84afXhgzkmpXjKMyeAAWwhNznispAClOEoedDKqVez64n8LVq4yx7nTg/s400/karla mera" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Karla Mera - Self Portrait</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
I mostly talk about love but every now and then I get political and societal in my blogs <br />
<br />
whatever the case, I promise you will always find something to relate to in my writings. If not this blog then the others. I would also love to hear what you have to say and always have open ears<br />
<br />
Most of all I just like to be happy. These forums allow me to express myself and let it all out. In the end it makes me feel better and good on the inside. I suggest everyone let it all out<br />
<br />
it's like talking to someone without any interruptions, it feels private when no one is reading but when people are reading i feel like a get my message across<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAKxM0W8i-0OjBPpWZWQci-AZQshRv1ev3C3TFJj2zFF3d7RCdo1PqKEm9VZllk9bYCseo3VxSdy-6J6LEHnxTyvKeX6tdVR73OiTBVbKvCVdXm1R0CHWlsQs0zzPFtLsBoKf635JRQix1/s1600/profile4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAKxM0W8i-0OjBPpWZWQci-AZQshRv1ev3C3TFJj2zFF3d7RCdo1PqKEm9VZllk9bYCseo3VxSdy-6J6LEHnxTyvKeX6tdVR73OiTBVbKvCVdXm1R0CHWlsQs0zzPFtLsBoKf635JRQix1/s320/karla mera" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Keep in touch and I will try my best to keep up with these blogs<br />
<br />
and yes, I uploaded these pictures so google will find me easily :) and not confuse me with Karla Mora<br />
<br />
who is she BTW? haha<br />
<br />
~KarlaMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-33068047215318918732011-05-03T12:01:00.000-07:002011-05-03T12:01:21.417-07:00A flash before my liesAs i walk towards my mandatory duties<br />
i bestowed upon myself<br />
an unpaid internship<br />
I awoke feeling a sense of ungratefulness and lazyness<br />
I'm tired<br />
I'm worn<br />
<br />
<br />
This day must be like any other working day<br />
where I'm thrown into the city streets<br />
to compete<br />
amongst the others on their way to their everday<br />
and me every other<br />
<br />
I say goodbye to my sister<br />
never telling her that I'll miss her<br />
but why should I?<br />
this day is like any other<br />
<br />
I continue my walk from her absence another block<br />
where the sidewalk ends and the cracked road will mock<br />
one foot in front of the other<br />
the street sign turns red and i must stop<br />
but before i could the rumble and crumble of an unpaved road<br />
brings me in deeper<br />
like the sea drifting farther away from shore<br />
<br />
Right before my lieing eyes<br />
I see gravel and cabs of yellow<br />
above me, on my knees with wide eyes<br />
i look up at them come towards me<br />
i give in, i subside<br />
there was no flash before my eyes<br />
<br />
<br />
From the Side walk into oncoming traffic<br />
I lack the abilty to grasp the concept<br />
I watch unafraid<br />
front row seat to my demise<br />
and close my eyes<br />
<br />
"Honk" "Honk"<br />
<br />
I re open my eyes<br />
now noticing that I am still alive<br />
with a flood of emotions swelling up inside<br />
mostly fear, then embaressment<br />
I look around and see my savoirs<br />
<br />
walking towards me with concern,<br />
standing beside me while traffic continues<br />
im roughed up and bleeding<br />
embarrassing burns<br />
grateful for my rescue<br />
im hurting but im breathing<br />
a feeling so relieving<br />
to keep on with this life of mine<br />
<br />
knowing know for the first time<br />
our lives have no contracts<br />
there is nothing to sign<br />
we eat, breathe and love<br />
waiting in our death lineMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-71388281527076095542011-04-13T10:51:00.000-07:002011-04-13T10:51:47.698-07:00I feel nothing for himI Suffer, I suffer<br />
I cant<br />
but endure<br />
I Suffer<br />
<br />
I Tried hard to overcome my selfishness that is prisoning me from having an actually loving relationship<br />
I worked on commitment, sacrifices, and openness<br />
I've done it<br />
and now that I have<br />
I am bored with it<br />
In the Short amount of time I have had an actually working relationship, I feel as though I'm over it. That's it, onto something new<br />
<br />
I can honestly say, I went for the unexpected, the out of my comfort zone, the not what I usually go for aka Jew Pride<br />
<br />
I feel. Well, I feel rather savage. I have a great guy and "I'm over it?" how selfish. How completely blind i must me<br />
This guy loves every inch of me<br />
He's my best friend<br />
and I think that's the problem<br />
He is my best friend<br />
<br />
I had my fill of perfection<br />
I realized i am incapable of giving love fully<br />
and I am a commitment phobe<br />
<br />
If you want to be with me it;s on my terms<br />
and if i want to be with you, that again; it on my terms<br />
<br />
Selfish, self absorbed, careless, inconsiderate, and easily annoyed<br />
Characteristics of myself<br />
the negative ones of coarse<br />
the positive? They are:<br />
Demanding, Driven, Work a holic, confident, independent, motivated<br />
<br />
So is this it<br />
I went from a girl falling deeper and deeper in lust/ love to a girl experiencing love and falling more and more out each day<br />
<br />
I want to go back to my old ways<br />
It feels right<br />
I don;t want to hurt anyone<br />
But this feels right to me<br />
and if I stop feeling for you all together, then whats the point on prolonging our courtship when one or the other isn't fully happy<br />
<br />
I'm happy this happened when it did<br />
its unfortunate when it did<br />
and I am sorry if I cause you any pain<br />
I will always have love for you<br />
you are my best friend<br />
but I am starting to lose what I did once feel<br />
and I wont let you be dragged down with meMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-20361324817673129172011-01-22T21:37:00.000-08:002011-01-22T21:53:27.392-08:00The Real RealizationWell of coarse!<br />
the heart is dumb, deaf, and blind<br />
the heart is.<br />
I swear it's not me.<br />
<br />
well maybe it's partly me.<br />
half me?<br />
mostly me.<br />
<br />
The heart healing is a slow pain staking process<br />
and i retract my last blog<br />
partly,<br />
until now.<br />
<br />
I came to the realization that I was not a fool in love this past year and half but an idiot in lust. blinded by my own version of what happened, of what i was actually feeling and what i thought he must of been feeling. Of coarse what i thought, i thought he was thinking was true<br />
he's hurt, upset, depressed, wants me back, will come back eventually. will call eventually<br />
NO NO NO NO<br />
WRONG<br />
i was blind. hiding my own memories from myself<br />
Number one reason why I couldn't let go<br />
Number two because there was never any closure<br />
<br />
I realized that the reason why I gave myself rope to make up this make believe relationship is because there was room to do so.<br />
an open ended ending.<br />
<br />
He and I let myself think that "no, it's not me," "I am not the reason why we broke up"<br />
It's him. He has "nothing to offer me," "In and out of jobs," "still lives with his parents," I am great but...<br />
<br />
BUT NOTHING!<br />
tell me the truth. That's all I ever wanted<br />
Don't give me the cliche "it's not you, it's me" bullshit<br />
when it is so clear now that the whole time it was me, and the only reason why you didn't leave is because you are a boy. a little child. only wanting one thing (take a wild guess) from me on a regular basis because any sane women would never take you.<br />
I was a young and naive girl and you evilly made me believe that you loved me<br />
you drunken mess<br />
though you probably have no recollection of any of it since most of our relationship consisted of you more in love with a bottle of whiskey by your side rather than me, and while you were intoxicated, whisper sweet lies into my gullible brain just to get into my pants<br />
<br />
And now that i look deep into my memories<br />
the moments when you were sober were awkward and upsetting<br />
I can recall a date we had where you took me out to lunch, the walk there in near silence and when we ordered our food our wait consisted of boring small chit chat. The highlight of it all about my nails that I had just got done. You said they looked nice. I could tell then, that we had nothing in common but i chose to ignore it because I wanted it so badly to work.<br />
During mid day you were cranky and seemed annoyed with me, which was followed by an immediate stop to the liquor store. You casually choosing your regular bottle of Jameson, and I, a bottle of white wine. Then we went to a movie theater, i think now so you wouldn't have to deal with me. and for you to allow yourself to slip into your alcoholism, as I sip away to my buzz<br />
I didn't drink that much before I met you. Thinking you were so cool I wanted to always catch up, but never could.<br />
And when the movie was done, so was your bottle<br />
and my wine not even half way done, and I promise you.... i really tried<br />
Then, and only then did you seem to appreciate me, seem to care I was around. You actually enjoyed our conversations. You didn't mind kissing, hugging, holding me in public... and in front of your friends<br />
Everything was perfect.<br />
I was blind.<br />
It's my fault that i chose to disregard the fact that most of our great times together were when you were drunk<br />
<br />
The day we met... you were drunk<br />
When I would go to your shows... you were drunk<br />
that St Patrick's Day weekend we spent together... Obviously drunk<br />
every time we were together.. there was alcohol around<br />
and when we awoke the next day i would be more than happy to be by your side, but you would be in no mood to be alive because of the hang over you would endure each and every time<br />
<br />
I am sure now that you'll never come back<br />
never come around<br />
never realize how much I cared<br />
and never realize how much wrong you've done to me<br />
<br />
I was hurt. You were never there. and I considered you one of my best and only friends<br />
<br />
I fell in, what i thought was love, with you but your were drunk and never noticed<br />
and when you did know, you did nothing to stop it<br />
you just let me keep coming back, thinking that maybe one day you would realize you were<br />
and when we broke up, correction, when i broke up with you... it was one of the hardest things i ever had to do. but you wouldn't know it. would you?<br />
<br />
and on a last note<br />
one of the last conversations we had was one of the most hurtful conversations of my life<br />
I so happy to be speaking to you, though at the time, knowing we were at our end<br />
you so obviously belligerent, slurring your words, and not at all sounding coherent<br />
stop me from my conversation with you to ask me a question<br />
a question to this day still scarred in my mind permanently<br />
<br />
you asked:<br />
"How much do you like me?"<br />
I, completely thrown off and curious, thought about it and answered:<br />
"A lot"<br />
which then you quickly replied:<br />
"Well, that's unfortunate"<br />
<br />
and now I am happy to shed this over bearing weight on my shoulders<br />
but a part of me still cares<br />
cares about about a part of you that never existed<br />
you are just this perfect person I made up in my mind<br />
disregarding all your flaws<br />
because at the time you had none<br />
but i promise to myself that no matter how long it take<br />
I will get over you, i will let go<br />
even though i don't know how to<br />
I will spend how ever long it takes to do so<br />
<br />
and I've said this before<br />
but if I could go back in time, I would make it so that I would of never met you, never allowed you into my life. And i still stand by that<br />
<br />
Thank you though, for making me that much stronger<br />
and making my wall that much higher, and my skin that much thicker<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and now, for a cheesy song to go with this blog<br />
i would have picked a cooler one, but this has been on the radio too many times so it's stuck in my head<br />
:)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SR6iYWJxHqs" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe>Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-68166086065893564192011-01-16T19:05:00.000-08:002011-01-16T19:05:36.560-08:00It's been a whileIn a whole year of self loathing, healing and basically nurturing myself back to health over spilt milk<br />
I am cured?<br />
well to be honest an entire year crying over something or SOMEONE can really do it's damage to a person<br />
such as:<br />
1) Giving you deep dark baggy under circles under your eyes<br />
2) Make you FAT<br />
<br />
as much as I liked to deny it, I've turned to poor sleep and eating habits to console the soul which quite honestly could of been my downfall<br />
could of?<br />
Let's be honest here... I'm disgusting/ slash not really because compared to many young ladies I am a plus size model<br />
for all you ignorant people out there PLUS SIZE models are sizes 6, 7, & 8... normal<br />
<br />
I weigh exactly 130lbs<br />
now compare that to last years stomach virus<br />
i weighed 119lbs<br />
<br />
how in both years could i be so unhealthy?<br />
<br />
Oh that's right... it's called an unhealthy relationship!<br />
and anyone in one, should get out of it<br />
because believe you me<br />
once you're out<br />
you're not truly out<br />
<br />
back to health: I haven't really worked out in a year. I used to love working out<br />
<br />
On a happier side note,<br />
LOVE LIFE:<br />
To whoever said that time heals all. GOD DAMMIT! you're right. but I have to say... once you're healed though, you're never really the same. You've permanently changed and in personal opinion always for the better<br />
I am however healed due to the new boy in my life, which may be a little bit of cheating but guys come in and out of a girls life and they never know when its going to happen<br />
such is the case with me<br />
and I'm not going to lie, I still think about my Ex<br />
I just hope he sometimes think about me while he masturbates *crosses fingers*<br />
<br />
Anyways this new guy likes me as is<br />
JUST THE WAY I AM. He's such a good, nice guy. He calls me, He came to my families new years (mind you that drive he made was a 3 hour one) He wants to hang out with me, LIKES MY FRIENDS, lets me meet his friends, didn't mind that he was arrested because of me<br />
<br />
come on, what a great guy!<br />
but I've already had multiple friends come u to me and say "Don't hurt him" and/ or "I hope you settle"<br />
<br />
WHAT? I'm a single lady, and I can already see me going back to my old tendencies. my friends know me best, I'm not a relationship person but all I know is... I don't plan on a serious relationship but I don't plan on hurting the guy. He's too nice for me to do that. I know I'm a pimpett bitch but He is already a good friend and I plan on keeping it that way<br />
<br />
Besides, the guy I am with. He is someone I can actually talk to and he'll actually listen<br />
that's hard to come by<br />
and I'm not a child anymore<br />
I'd be and idiot to give that upMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-16622333211534399092010-10-27T20:07:00.000-07:002010-10-27T20:07:16.644-07:00Where will this wind take me? (Circa 2008)I was a free spirit flowing in the wind, at first it was calm but now times have become rough, i don't have a sense of direction, im blind and being taken for a ride through storms and i thought that was behind me..after the after-matt until i flowed through the occasional ocean, ocean, oh-cean, i was better...i was free and released...until politics bombarded the air...<br />
if you lay with important figures it will only show you how little you are<br />
and when i laid with this figure, his figure, his figure was whole...beyond what i have yet to accomplish...i was only apart of your happiness for a moment in time...but you dragged me in as if i was meant to be there forever, i now know what your followers see<br />
I didn't care, knowing of you was fine...but i never heard the most beautiful voice which at the time was associated with the most beautiful word, the first thing you said to me in 1 word...my name...at that alone...you did your work, you single handedly took down years of walls put up, knocked down tough barriers, with a single word you stole me heart<br />
and its not fair! i was supposed to be free and fine like i was, and finally i was over and won a great war with myself...without notice you started another one. I had no more than a few weeks with my newly founded freedom, and this war was unlike the others i did not put up a fight, i gave in...retreated and surrendered.<br />
<br />
I know i was your prey, i know you hunted me down...but for what? did you know what ive been through. I could be stronger now...and as you told me the story of your 6month insecurity and loneliness i was there, the first girl in a while to be enjoying your presence, to be wanting to make you happy...ive succeeded in that but for what? I want to come across those grey eyes, stare into them and start over. You seemed genuine, and to an extent you are....<br />
but seeing how happy you are now, only makes me realizes how much i contributed to you well being and state of mind...but not in a good way, as a stepping stone<br />
and i know you look back, to the politics of it all, after seeing the empty space by your bed, and know that the wind brought me into your direction and you saw something in me...more than anyone else to notice that i was the one you'd keep until you were sent off. So as the wind was too strong for me and sent me into another storm and you in the other direction...i know it promises to bring me back on track...and you on your way, but though time heals all, storms are beautifully sad and no one knows where they will end up. And it saddens me to think that this wind will separate us forever, and i wont get another chance...to be as happy as you is a dream, to be happy with you is a wish and a memory<br />
Im in a storm im not supposed to be in but if it sends me back to you, i will go through it all...again and again.<br />
the sea is coming close and will direct me into more storms and the after-matt brought me to you...i want to end up with you. Presidents don't compare to the believers you have...you could change all...in a single kiss...you could change minds...including my own...<br />
when you lay again, clouds will clear and from here on out..forecast says its nothing but sunny skies and a chance to fall in love<br />
<br />
Read more: http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=8998834&blogId=412456075#ixzz13cR5Vb56Man Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-68635119168342114392010-10-27T19:54:00.000-07:002010-10-27T19:54:48.235-07:00Follow my other BlogsHey guys, Im so happy that you guys like this blog but before you read check out my other blogs. They are also interesting and more informative and updated often<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a title ="karla mera" a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5bvvXj-ZB-ww6GKu5INh_vCTzt_ObQatoyp97DFZJ3kgqjeGWYNH9LrEUUliGGqEr1it-FNtTpdvxfanrauyHJ2pcCbM6R-NPCk5N8r-MVUvOj-qZ18-myNMHcqCcASMm92aD9zszZ4re/s1600/intense2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" alt= "karla Mera" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5bvvXj-ZB-ww6GKu5INh_vCTzt_ObQatoyp97DFZJ3kgqjeGWYNH9LrEUUliGGqEr1it-FNtTpdvxfanrauyHJ2pcCbM6R-NPCk5N8r-MVUvOj-qZ18-myNMHcqCcASMm92aD9zszZ4re/s320/intense2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<br />
<br />
I have a TV show at Purchase College called <a href="http://twotwinsshow.blogspot.com/">THE TWO TWINS SHOW</a> and it airs every monday at 10:30 - 11:00pm. We have musical artists come on the show where they play 2 to 3 songs and are interviewed. These aren't just any artists, they are up and coming, talented, and a breath of fresh air. We also show our favorite YouTube videos and other viral videos on the internet. I will also be blogging about our artists, future episode, what changes are going on and whatever happens during the show Join the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Two-Twins-Show/152591188101238?ref=ts">Two Twins Facebook Page</a> and the <a href="http://twitter.com/Two_Twins_Show">Two Twins Twitter Page</a> and help us get fans and followers so they can stay up to date with their soon to be favorite twins and their antics! watch us hit the top of the social media charts! should be an exciting ride<br />
<br />
<br />
My other blog is <a href="http://creativeunknowns.blogspot.com/">CREATIVE UNKNOWNS</a><br />
It's a blog where I explore my creative side and use my creativity in different formats such as fashion, photography, music, art, poetry/ lyrics and writing and whatever else I express myself through. It's the best forms of my art in my opinion or will be showcasing other creative unknowns i think you should check out. Also it's a great place to look at what i wear and what my style is. If you're lucky i could be giving stuff away (because I own so many things)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQWsMIHHCw2EUI5fj68MsXpxX93jAJPro9waFN0SDyi5e-HAvpuQkOg40ooMaJL7NwZKI_2rEd7eYdOcB20lHN7qE0I_DnTOPcxXizoyp3UB77dd4ldCcfXxfZXYDDDZshY1p60Nfsr1nw/s1600/intense.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQWsMIHHCw2EUI5fj68MsXpxX93jAJPro9waFN0SDyi5e-HAvpuQkOg40ooMaJL7NwZKI_2rEd7eYdOcB20lHN7qE0I_DnTOPcxXizoyp3UB77dd4ldCcfXxfZXYDDDZshY1p60Nfsr1nw/s320/intense.jpg" width="320" /></a>Well there they are. Head Trip is a blog going trough the mind and life of me, whether i create fake scenarios from my own thoughts and minds pr if i write about actually occurrences that have happened to me (most love and loss and what is is to be a young 20 something girl on a journey through her lifeMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-86148428950591120932010-10-24T20:44:00.000-07:002010-10-24T20:44:26.675-07:00Cellabacy of the worst kindI find myself ruined<br />
I find others ruined<br />
by love<br />
their pleasure taken away<br />
and replaced by pain<br />
or worse<br />
replaced with nothing<br />
<br />
Nothingness<br />
They feel nothing<br />
when they are kissed, hugged or touched<br />
Nothingness<br />
when they Lust, love, or fuck<br />
<br />
Why bother to indulge in intimacy?<br />
Why bother in letting others in<br />
in your heart and in your mind<br />
or even inside of you<br />
when you know for a fact you will feel nothing<br />
if anything<br />
<br />
I declare of vow of self love<br />
not sexually<br />
but personally<br />
I declare<br />
I am in a relationship with myself<br />
we are having problems<br />
but I am willing to work them out<br />
<br />
I am married to myself<br />
and for better or for worse<br />
I will try to love myself<br />
<br />
though this wandering eye<br />
may want to stray<br />
may want cheat and lie<br />
I will do my best<br />
to listen to myself<br />
and be by myself<br />
Until I find the best<br />
of the best<br />
of all the restMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-73986633606417536472010-10-17T20:24:00.000-07:002010-10-17T20:24:36.800-07:00A room full of wrongWhen 3 years of lust turns into a potential scenario<br />
where sex, youth, and infidelity combine<br />
to make for a string of wrong turns and dirty minds<br />
<br />
In this room, where I confide<br />
in you in which I wish you were in me<br />
<br />
To discuss the negatives of my life<br />
as you look upon my body, with those aged eyes<br />
I barely know who you are<br />
and you want me bare<br />
<br />
Like a scene from a movie<br />
Ill swipe all desk supplies onto the floor<br />
a locked room, a closed door<br />
committing sins, tempting tease<br />
<br />
With our eyes, we are wrong<br />
with our passion, our movement<br />
our lust remains strong<br />
<br />
but that day, where we act on our wrong will be in our hearts<br />
because we don't mean no harm<br />
treating me like a child even though you'd love me like a women<br />
<br />
Mister trickster with a career and a wife<br />
I do feel guilty but it's unfair<br />
you have a child and another life<br />
<br />
When you leave this room<br />
our 30 minutes of innocense ends <br />
when you enter your car to drive <br />
home and kiss all those who make you feel alive<br />
<br />
But for a moment this young girl tickles your fancy<br />
in this room you wish you could have thee<br />
office space with enough room to hide secrets<br />
enough consequences to never say a word and keep this<br />
forever an idea<br />
and never a realityMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-20399997009632038082010-10-05T22:38:00.000-07:002010-10-05T22:39:14.481-07:00Used toWe used to be lovers<br />
we used to be<br />
we used to<br />
We used to be Lovers<br />
we did<br />
<br />
we used to<br />
We used to be<br />
We used to be lovers<br />
we used to be<br />
we used to<br />
we use to do anything but love<br />
<br />
We used to be best friends<br />
we used to be friendly<br />
we used to be everything but be in love<br />
<br />
We used to be soul mates<br />
we used to go on dates<br />
We used to do eveything but be in love<br />
<br />
We used to be lovers<br />
we used to be<br />
we used to<br />
We used to be Lovers<br />
we did<br />
we used to<br />
We used to be<br />
We used to be lovers<br />
we used to be<br />
we used to<br />
we use to do anything but love<br />
<br />
<br />
We used to be phone sex<br />
we used to be endless<br />
We used to be eveything but in love<br />
<br />
We used to be romance<br />
we used to be content<br />
We used to be everything but in love<br />
<br />
We used to be lovers<br />
we used to be<br />
we used to<br />
we use to do anything but love<br />
<br />
We used to be EVERYTHING but in loveMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-76628447007230246212010-10-01T15:46:00.000-07:002010-10-05T22:39:41.632-07:00How could I sayWhen others hurt for so long<br />
<br />
I know<br />
I know<br />
I know what they must feel<br />
<br />
to want to dry up and wither away<br />
and after so long<br />
<br />
that pain<br />
that pain<br />
that pain doesn't see to go away<br />
<br />
though the tears<br />
they dry up and shrivle away<br />
<br />
Like everyone telling you<br />
it will all go away<br />
but... it doesn't<br />
it lingers and stays<br />
hovering around every dark corner<br />
every drunken haze<br />
every lovers craze<br />
<br />
For you to come up to me and tell me your soul, letting me know. That after so long, you're letting me know, that your will to go on, your will to live... you have none<br />
<br />
well i feel no pity<br />
and no pity fills me<br />
<br />
Telling me, letting me know, that intoxicated as you are, you wouldn't mind riding off that hill in your car. well i feel no pity<br />
<br />
I tell them I know how you must feel because i felt it too<br />
But apparently I know nothing if that feeling is in you<br />
It's been a year later and you still feel the same<br />
sad, miserable with nothing left to gain<br />
<br />
I tell him: you have to go on and be you. live you<br />
don't live for others anymore, you just have to live<br />
<br />
but I see it in their glossed over eyes<br />
they've lost the fight<br />
with over a year later they still just want to cry<br />
<br />
over that person who will never care to know if they did, or if they didn't<br />
I have no pity<br />
<br />
But<br />
How could I say, such cruel cruel words<br />
when all their heart was taken away<br />
How could I say to keep trecking on their way<br />
when almost a year later<br />
that feeling i have for you<br />
still hasn't gone away<br />
<br />
how could I say<br />
what if I told you I feel the same as felt that lonely december day<br />
<br />
almost a year ago<br />
i still feel the same<br />
<br />
Those their they've left but the feelings still strong<br />
I too have to just live on<br />
this battle is not meant to be wonMan Love & Mashed Avacadohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02446715917705215803noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6139940340592413470.post-57945334008227790552010-09-29T10:08:00.000-07:002010-09-29T10:40:06.274-07:00Rediscover the Self. YourselfAs time goes by<br />
quickly past our eyes<br />
one must realize<br />
that one must fill time<br />
with pleasure<br />
responsibility<br />
regrets<br />
and spontaneity<br />
Be Loud, Be Free and be You<br />
at all times<br />
<br />
I find now and days the luster that shined down on all us us<br />
when we were born<br />
grow to fade<br />
fade to a shade of grey<br />
once our eyes were wide open to the world<br />
now turns the other way<br />
the dreams we had, the hope inside of all<br />
have been lost and forgotten<br />
apathetic and rotten<br />
<br />
I stumble upon more beings just getting through life<br />
rather than living their life<br />
day by day by day<br />
the same way all day<br />
afraid to go after what's theirs<br />
afraid to follow their heart<br />
the things that made people glow now terrify those who refuse to go forth<br />
<br />
I for one will always be true to myself<br />
be myself<br />
at least most of the time<br />
and if that means having insane goals, dreaming too big that others laugh at<br />
telling me I'm not realistic<br />
that i need to be brought back to earth<br />
I tell them no!<br />
no matter how hard the struggle may be<br />
I will not be you<br />
I will not be another lost soul<br />
lost inside a world who let their dreams go<br />
<br />
Promise me, promise yourself<br />
I will not live a world of what if<br />
Promise me, promise yourself<br />
I'd rather die doing what I want<br />
<br />
why wish for a life you want<br />
when you can reach out and grab it<br />
<br />
Most of us will just let life pass by<br />
very few of us will actually live our life<br />
<br />
I have yet to loose my wandering wide eyes<br />
don't settle, never settle<br />
<br />
Terrifying? yes. but everything new always is<br />
I don't want to play it safe<br />
I don't want to be realistic<br />
I just want to exude the essence that is<br />
me<br />
<br />
after all<br />
all great people didn't just sit arums and wait for success<br />
all great people didn't think twice about going after their goals and dreams<br />
all great people never lost that spark they had<br />
even when beaten battered and withered<br />
and neither should you<br />
<br />
<br />
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