How could I?

So willingly i close my eyes
to pretend i don't see who i lye
and only imagine portraits of you
portraits i only wish were true
but none the less i kid myself
closing tightly as he kissed myself
I say no but there's no stopping
hearts a thumping, bumping and dropping
Inevitable is the word
i a lonely girl
in a cold cold world
Never thought i'd do this to you
but i have
and now i must chose

I'm loosing him

We are slipping
we are falling
we are falling apart.

I can feel it letting go
i feel you letting go

and you may not know...
you just don't know yet,
but you're loosing your grip on me.
Loosing those feelings, you see...

I know you're forcing to continue
and i, fighting for control

This is all just bad timing,
this I know you know.
The distance. the trying.
the missed calls and lieing

forget me not
I love you more
but i've seen this, I've seen this... happen before
I can clearly see
that you're ready to run out that door.

I work. A LOT. and that's all I do

after graduating many say I should feel lucky
I should be happy to have found a job
when so many others have just turn into slobs
I have a job
that pays pretty well
a job where all I have to do is sell

I am the manager
of myself.
competing with noone
but everyone, including myself

I make good money
and everybody loves me
I'm paying my bills and i don't go hungry

But I'm living at home with my parents
telling me I am lucky I am not paying rent

to tell you the truth Id rather be poor
Id rather be in school
doing nothing at all
all i do is work
6 out of 7 days of the week
if I'm lucky
enjoying your years sheltered from the world?
you'll miss it once it's gone
TRUST ME!

After 4 years what have I learned? - College graduate and the unknown future

Tid bit on sex:
If the sex feels right then it is right. for women it's meaningful, insightful and/ or satisfying physically and emotionally. the physical can do without the emotion but the emotional always works hand in hand with the physical
For the man, it feels right, if it's tight. The Physical will always be there but if ever the emotional, well that is rare. Don't worry ladies...
the moral: Kegel exercises



Excerpt from a college grad

I've graduated to become
a lesser version of myself
amongst many, amongst one
Where do I go from here on out
graduating with a diploma i want nothing to do with
So as i humor myself
I will follow my dreams
realizing that's the only things I want for me
and so it seems
that Life is a test for all of us
levels and levels of challenges
we can accept defeat or we must
follow and chase
and never give up
because along the way so many will face
the death of their dreams because they are rational
dying inside to be something practical
Well, not me

This is Me

I am changing my this blog to updates on my life in a poetic manner but you can find my poetry at the creative unknowns blog HERE
 aka being a college grad, going through regular life, finding work, dealing with love, creating my success and informing you on a personal journey of life and achievement with a few obstacles and down falls on the way

Karla Mera - Self Portrait

I never properly introduced myself. I am Karla Mera.





Once a photographer... now on a path to becoming an artist. I just want to be paid for being me and/or doing what I love

What that is I am not sure yet but I want to find

Currently 21 years of age, female, Leo, and a twin
animal lover and I enjoy helping people

I've do many things:

1) Love writing lyrics and poetry
2) Enjoy photography so long as it's not a job
3) Event planning & promotions (music shows)
4) Host for a college TV show
5) Love watching children and teaching them
6) singing, drawing, dancing, creating music
7) relaxing, sun bathing, deep breaths and long conversation in person and in depth
8) Volunteering. People and animals. It's life changing
9) Being fashionable in a cost efficient way
10) Being with Family and friends but also meeting new people, love to meet new people all the time
11) Anything outdoors
12) Social Media Marketing

Karla Mera - Self Portrait

I mostly talk about love but every now and then I get political and societal in my blogs

whatever the case, I promise you will always find something to relate to in my writings.  If not this blog then the others.  I would also love to hear what you have to say and always have open ears

Most of all I just like to be happy.  These forums allow me to express myself and let it all out.  In the end it makes me feel better and good on the inside.  I suggest everyone let it all out

it's like talking to someone without any interruptions, it feels private when no one is reading but when people are reading i feel like a get my message across

Keep in touch and I will try my best to keep up with these blogs

and yes, I uploaded these pictures so google will find me easily :) and not confuse me with Karla Mora

who is she BTW? haha

~Karla

A flash before my lies

As i walk towards my mandatory duties
i bestowed upon myself
an unpaid internship
I awoke feeling a sense of ungratefulness and lazyness
I'm tired
I'm worn


This day must be like any other working day
where I'm thrown into the city streets
to compete
amongst the others on their way to their everday
and me every other

I say goodbye to my sister
never telling her that I'll miss her
but why should I?
this day is like any other

I continue my walk from her absence another block
where the sidewalk ends and the cracked road will mock
one foot in front of the other
the street sign turns red and i must stop
but before i could the rumble and crumble of an unpaved road
brings me in deeper
like the sea drifting farther away from shore

Right before my lieing eyes
I see gravel and cabs of yellow
above me, on my knees with wide eyes
i look up at them come towards me
i give in, i subside
there was no flash before my eyes


From the Side walk into oncoming traffic
I lack the abilty to grasp the concept
I watch unafraid
front row seat to my demise
and close my eyes

"Honk" "Honk"

I re open my eyes
now noticing that I am still alive
with a flood of emotions swelling up inside
mostly fear, then embaressment
I look around and see my savoirs

walking towards me with concern,
standing beside me while traffic continues
im roughed up and bleeding
embarrassing burns
grateful for my rescue
im hurting but im breathing
a feeling so relieving
to keep on with this life of mine

knowing know for the first time
our lives have no contracts
there is nothing to sign
we eat, breathe and love
waiting in our death line

I feel nothing for him

I Suffer, I suffer
I cant
but endure
I Suffer

I Tried hard to overcome my selfishness that is prisoning me from having an actually loving relationship
I worked on commitment, sacrifices, and openness
I've done it
and now that I have
I am bored with it
In the Short amount of time I have had an actually working relationship, I feel as though I'm over it. That's it, onto something new

I can honestly say, I went for the unexpected, the out of my comfort zone, the not what I usually go for aka Jew Pride

I feel. Well, I feel rather savage. I have a great guy and "I'm over it?" how selfish. How completely blind i must me
This guy loves every inch of me
He's my best friend
and I think that's the problem
He is my best friend

I had my fill of perfection
I realized i am incapable of giving love fully
and I am a commitment phobe

If you want to be with me it;s on my terms
and if i want to be with you, that again; it on my terms

Selfish, self absorbed, careless, inconsiderate, and easily annoyed
Characteristics of myself
the negative ones of coarse
the positive? They are:
Demanding, Driven, Work a holic, confident, independent, motivated

So is this it
I went from a girl falling deeper and deeper in lust/ love to a girl experiencing love and falling more and more out each day

I want to go back to my old ways
It feels right
I don;t want to hurt anyone
But this feels right to me
and if I stop feeling for you all together, then whats the point on prolonging our courtship when one or the other isn't fully happy

I'm happy this happened when it did
its unfortunate when it did
and I am sorry if I cause you any pain
I will always have love for you
you are my best friend
but I am starting to lose what I did once feel
and I wont let you be dragged down with me