How could I?

So willingly i close my eyes
to pretend i don't see who i lye
and only imagine portraits of you
portraits i only wish were true
but none the less i kid myself
closing tightly as he kissed myself
I say no but there's no stopping
hearts a thumping, bumping and dropping
Inevitable is the word
i a lonely girl
in a cold cold world
Never thought i'd do this to you
but i have
and now i must chose